Appt with OBGYN and Due Date 9/27/10

Today was certainly an interesting day. I couldn't wait for my appointment with Cynthia and then after I had it I was bummed. I think I had some postpartum depression...without the post part. She seemed to judge us at first. She asked us who else knew about the pregnancy, how long have we been together, and how did this happen? Really? Pretty sure she delivers babies all the time, I don't have to explain to her how it happened. I wasn't impressed. Cynthia has always been very good to me but if someone else asks me if I want to continue the pregnancy I might lose my cool. If I show up in the doctor's office with Ed by my side and with the purpose of making sure my medications will be safe for the baby then I am probably planning to continue with it. Maybe they have to ask, but I don't like it.

Together we decided I should stop taking all of my medications except for the Lexapro. I had to choose between Lexapro and Welbutrin (I was taking both). Welbutrin has a higher side effect of making people jumpy and I certainly don't need that, so I chose the Lexapro. She asked me about my symptoms. I told her I was okay for the most part. I've been having cramps, my breasts are super sore, and any food I eat seems to sit just above my belly daring me to make a wrong move. I've been exhausted, too exhausted. I threw up once the other day but I think it may just be because my gag reflex is whacked; I had been brushing my teeth. Also, my temperature this morning was 100.2, I only decided to take my temperature because I felt hot. She told me not to take my temperature because it would just worry me. Lastly, she told me not to read "What to Expect When You're Expecting." She said there tends to be some scare tactics in there that I don't need to see and that I could read other books. Sam sent me "What to Expect" so I will probably peruse it out of curiosity but will remember Cynthia's warning.

My next appointment is with the nurse on February 4th. The nurse will start my prenatal chart then I will go to the lab to have an ultrasound. This sounds so exciting! Unfortunately, Ed probably won't be able to be there. He got a job offer today that starts on February 1st. Who knows, they might be cool and he may be able to ask for the afternoon off but at the same time, we don't want to blow his chances of working there! We'll play it by ear.) My mom and dad will be flying to Minnesota that day. Too bad they couldn't change their flight a little so mom could accompany me to the ultrasound. That would be pretty neat. Cynthia thinks I am five weeks pregnant and should be due on September 27, 2010. It is my understanding that we are doing the ultrasound to get a better idea about timing (See where I'm at now, etc).

I made my own supper tonight. I was so tired and just wanted to buy a sub from the store next door but then I thought about it...I shouldn't eat deli meat and I refuse to put ANY risk on the baby. I could order a steak and cheese...mmm. OR...I could go home and make a steak and cheese quesadilla with the food I already have in my fridge. So, that's what I did. Boy, was I proud! Of course, I used a frying pan I had never used before...I didn't realize there was paper on the bottom of it so I almost burnt the house down. It is seriously a miracle that I didn't. I was so scared! The whole house smelled so bad and it was all my fault! I was very thankful my roommate wasn't home to witness my stupidity. And again, when I tried to get the paper off the burner I burnt my finger. It is already blistering.

I am really trying to do everything right for the baby. Amanda suggested I do my best to just pick from the food groups...I think that is working out well.
2 FRUITS: Banana, Fruit Cup, Fruit Cup, Clementine, Clementine
3 VEGETABLES: Green Beans, Green Beans
6 GRAINS: Quesadilla, Quesadilla
2 MEATS AND BEANS: Steak, Steak
3 DAIRY: Yogurt, Cottage Cheese, Shredded Cheese, Milk, Chocolate Milk, Sour Cream
JUNK FOOD:

I am in a funk today. Scared about what is to come. I've been so tired, how will I continue to take Graduate courses? I am half way through my degree program. How will I do this on my own? Will I be on my own? I know it will all work out; I know God has a plan for me and for us. Ed is certainly reassuring, but today I am just concerned. It is only 8pm and I'm going to bed. Told you I was tired.